I have conversations with my clients all the time about anti-aging products, procedures and all the rest that is waiting for us (to buy) at every turn - with more and more “miracles” coming out every single day. My clients are looking for information and I am wanting to educate. It’s just that what I have to say about the whole aging thing is a complete departure from the norm, especially in my own business of skin care.
I am posting a section from my second book, Skin Care A to Z, that really says a lot about where I am coming from and what I think about this whole “anti-aging” phenomenon. I put anti-aging in quotation marks because the phrase sounds funny to me: “anti” aging? Really? Like there is something wrong with aging. (That may be something that we disagree on, but please read on!) The following section is actually at the front of the book, Notes to My Readers. I hope you enjoy it and I hope it causes a shift, if one is needed. :+)
N O T E S T O M Y R E A D E R S
Waiting in line at the ticket counter at O’Hare airport, I struck up a
conversation with a young man behind me. He was commenting on
how unnecessary it was to still designate seat assignments on airplanes
as “non-smoking.” I agreed and added that I remembered when you
could smoke on an airplane. He said he did not remember “those
days;” alas, he was too young! I went one step further to say that I even
remembered when you could smoke a cigarette in a movie theater!
After I said that, I tried not to chuckle out loud due to the surprised
look on this young man’s face. I know I don’t look my age, but the
movie theater comment probably put me in his parent’s age group. He
tried not to show his shock and disbelief, but his expression, as subtle
as he tried to make it, was priceless.
Since joining “The Club” (the 40-year-old club), I have had a new
found sense of joy about my age. I am definitely not the person who
feels a sense of loss at 40; I actually feel a sense of excitement about
being older. I refuse (
refuse) to bow to what society says about aging.
There is too much that is good about getting older. These things are
not physical (no kidding!), but they are profound—and real. I feel
better mentally; I have a much deeper spiritual connection than I did
in my 20s; I can handle complex situations with a maturity I am just
now developing. Psychologically I understand myself and the world
around me much better and more realistically, and I have a much
deeper sense of appreciation and love for life and for the people in my
life than I did even five or 10 years ago.
I want to share something with you that is an integral part of this
message. The way I feel about myself, my life, and about aging
is a
choice. These positive feelings don’t just happen (believe me!); I have
carefully and constantly
crafted and cultivated these feelings in order
to survive in this world—this youth-driven, anti-aging world. No one
is going to tell me how to feel about myself, and I am certainly not
going to form my opinion about aging from magazines or commercials
on TV. I choose on a daily basis to think, feel, speak, and act in ways
that support myself—even as I head down the road of aging.
Over the last 10 years I have consciously and purposefully created
a thought process for myself that supports the coming of age. It was, in
a sense, a practical matter. I knew I would age (there was no stopping
that train), and I knew there would be brighter, more beautiful, and
younger people born onto the planet every day. So my choice was: will
I let reality drag me down to my knees begging for mercy and perhaps
less cellulite and less droopy eyelids, or will I choose to allow the
inevitable and find beauty within that choice? Anyone who knows me,
be it a client, friend, or family member, knows which path I have chosen
to take.
Part of why I started writing in the first place was to give a voice
to that choice. I wanted to add volume to my
anti-anti-aging paradigm,
knowing I couldn’t possibly compete with the anti-aging world
around me. But because I felt strong in my convictions about accepting
aging, I also wanted to help any of you who
wanted to feel the same
way and yet might have felt like you’re losing the battle. Today I am
here to say
stand up strong and don’t succumb to all the hype, media
attention to youth, advertising, and (even though it is my chosen
industry) the skin care world.
I definitely advocate doing all the right things to keep your skin
looking healthy at any age. But then, after getting enough sleep, eating
right, drinking enough water, avoiding sugar, exfoliating, and applying
your sunscreen, go out and face the day! Do something wonderful (or
mundane). Enjoy your breath, the ability to move, and stop focusing
so much time and attention on your looks. Be wise and don’t belabor
the task of looking good. Your looks can be taken away in an instant,
or a lifetime; memories of adventures and life experiences last forever.
MIND/SPIRIT